During one of her busiest work weeks this year, my friend and co-worker JT also hosted a party.
From JT:
This past weekend I allowed my 13-year-old to throw a Halloween party. She invited most the girls in her class and a few friends from the neighborhood. We will NEVER have one of these events again. It is amazing how much damage a dozen teenage girls can do. This Halloween party was HELL!
During the 3 legged race Cleopatra and the gogo dancer got tangled and we had to cut them apart.
One of the children knocked down one of the bug repellent torches and scorched the fence.
The go go dancer’s big boots got the best of her and she fell down the stairs, thank God she was all right, she was saved by her afro wig. But my wall was not so luck she left a big black boot print on the stairwell wall.
One of the girls bit into a “for garnish only” Jalapeños and could not stop the burning. We tried, milk, ice cream, bread, and ice, and nothing would soothe her. She went home with bright red lips.
During the bobbing for apples, one child swallowed water and immediately started to vomit in the apples and the sink.
Just when I thought it was over, one little girl showed up late, she sat and began rocking back and forth in the kitchen chair, until she broke the chair leg clean off. Those were my grandmother’s chair.
How do parents carve out time for kid-oriented days like Halloween?
This is one of those days that I am so grateful my boss approved my proposal for working part-time. My schedule is 28 hours a week from 8:30 a.m. to either 2, 2:30 or 3 Monday-Friday. Today I'm done at 2:30, so that means time for work, picking up the kids, dinner and an early Halloween.
Have other parents out there had back/muscle problems as a result of carrying too much at a time and/or over time - babies, car seat, other baby equipment, lunches for school, work stuff, etc?
There's only so much anyone can carry, but - by golly - when you're a parent the amount you need to carry grows and grows and putting down the baby to make seven trips to retrieve what goes along with a baby isn't always an option. The result of carrying our daughter and way too much stuff yesterday was a pinched nerve of some sort, along with me not able to turn my head and my husband being on the baby night shift - being on alert during the night in case the baby woke up - because I couldn't pick her up. She woke up at 3:30 again. Poor Steven. I took a fast-acting Tylenol and that helped (very quickly, just like it says) for a while, but I still had some muscle aches and was still unable to sleep for a long time. Today, the ache is better, but to avoid a relapse, Steven is taking our daughter to school. I miss holding her, but my muscles need a break.
How do part-time workers make it through the financial rough spots?
We’re in one now – and have been since I started working part-time in March (when I came back to work after the birth of our second child.) We knew it would be tight financially, but it’s so frequent – and stressful – that it makes me think I should add hours. (I currently work 28 hrs/week.) But I love having more time for the kids and my husband and the house. I could use more time for them, in fact.
We’re still getting the hang of the new schedule, my huge cut in pay and how to balance it all. We are not doing well with the financial end, but the extra time has helped so much.
What does a day with good work-life balance look like to working parents?
For me, it looked like yesterday: I worked til 2:30 (my usual part-time hours for Thursday). Went to daycare, waited outside with other parents until our little ones came out for the annual Fall Day Festival costume parade. They were adorable, had a blast, then we all played on playground and had sandwiches and snacks. Played more when we got home. Had a good dinner, then bedtime routine.
How do working parents just say no (successfully?) to breakfast/dinner work meetings?
Thank God other working parents are writing about this stuff because I'm one of two in our 10-person department with young kids, and I don't think anyone cares whatI think.
We start new quarterly breakfast meetings next month. And it's not a meeting. It's a social get-together that we have to pay for ourselves. Can't we just "get together" (and NOT pay for it) during work hours? Love my co-workers, but why do we need this?
Anyone out there besides me had a fender bender while minding the kids for a second?
It happened yesterday - we had a tiny, tap of a fender bender coming home from daycare. I was driving; Dash and Lorelai were in the back. We stopped behind a long line of cars exiting the highway, and were waiting a few minutes there.
I turned to check on Lorelai, and my car rolled very slowly and lightly bumped a car in front of me. No damage that I could see. Dash says he didn't even feel it. Everyone's okay. Lesson be learned. Gotta watch the multi-tasking. (By the way, the two photos of them in the car are not from the fender bender! Can you imagine - "Smile kids, it's your first car accident!")
How do people out there deal with self-doubt/stress as working parents?
I had a real up-and-down weekend full of great time with Dashiell, less with Lorelai unfortunately, and also lots of self-doubt about my work-life balance, especially how present I am with my kids at times. (It's hard because we're so tired and need to be somewhere - on time - every week day for several hours.) We're all off schedule sleep-wise, recovering from Lor's illnesses and from work commitments (Steven up late a few nights ago to write a test, grade, give a review session for students online).
Anywho, Just feel humbled. And I worry about my kids when are schedules are so busy or our plans change or we are unorganized because things like sickness in the family come up or the need for sleep suddently changes everything. Sometimes working and taking care of them feels like a big hazy blur. A dizzy merry-go-round that's hard to slow down. I love them so much. This is the part of the program in which the elves come over and clean our house and take care of us.
Parent, Time-out thyself! Anyone else had to do this?
Lor has been so healthy the last few days, then last night her ongoing eczema condition drove her insane at 2 a.m., and nothing I tried helped - the prescription lotion, aquafor, Tylenol, a bottle of formula. She screamed whenever I put her down, and so I carried her around for an hour and a half or so until finally I thought I was going to lose it, so I put her in her crib, let her cry, so I could take a break. I sat on the floor in the dining room and just held my head in my hands. I was exhausted. My husband, hearing the screaming, woke up to help, and I sat with them a while, then collapsed on the couch. One of those "Five-more-minutes,-mom moments" - except I'm the mom!
I'm awake now, on the go and rushing again. To end on a positive note, look again at these gorgeous photos of the kids in Halloween costumes. Also, Lorelai in new winter duds. Went crazy shopping for her yesterday. Everything. Is. So. Cute!! Thanks for the Cuteness, Old Navy (baby girl section)!
Before I go on about why I'm up at 3 a.m., let me just say thank God that Lorelai had a healthy, no-vomiting, no- diarrhea, no-sickness day today. Her two-week saga of illness seems to have come to a close!! Both Steven and I went to work Friday because she was well enough to go back to daycare. She was her old self - charming the teachers, crawling over other babies, cruising, taking steps with a baby walker. Smiling, laughing, chatting it up with the other cutesters in her class. Good 'ole baby fun.
So why am I up in the middle of the night? Lorelai woke up crying at 3 a.m. Her face is itchy - the awful baby eczema - an ever-present condition I'm told will get better when she's two.
The prescription lotion we have didn't seem to help tonight. So, I gave her some Tylenol (she's itching her ears too - so gave her the pain meds just in case the ear infections are back or still giving her pain. Also, sorry to say, think she just needs something to take the edge off the itching. The recent news about cold and alergy baby medicines being unsafe worries me.) Also gave her a bottle - not to teach her to solve her problems with food - but because it seems to be what she wants. It was, and she eventually fell asleep on my shoulder as I caught up on 30 Rock.
Speaking of 30 Rock - Go Tina Fey, a very funny, working mom. Look at what she has created - a very funny show of her own. If they would only bring back the Floydster!! Love that actor and character AND that Liz Lemon has someone who gets her.
After I put Lor back in her crib (Thank God she didn't wake up screaming, as she often does, when I put her down,) I thought I'd check in here and also catch up on web reading.
Getting ready for work - in case I go to work. Kids are asleep. Steven - exhausted from Dash waking up - went back to bed for a cat nap. I'll get a full report on Lorelai's night from Steven soon to see if she's well and decide if she's ready to return to daycare. I hesitate to send her back, but yesterday was a very good day for her. We'll see. gotta get me and breakfast ready.
Take a look. She covers a great deal of work-life issues, has her own personal examples and makes suggestions for improving policies and laws for working parents needing a better work-life balance. Wasn't really a big Hillary supporter before, but now I need to consider it.
Do other working parents take turns staying home with a sick child, like we do?
In Which Working Parent Cares for Sick Kids, Medical News Today reports a study stating that it's usually the woman who stays home with sick kids. That's not the case for my husband and I, and I'm so grateful that we're able to split time off between us.
Tomorrow's my day to go back to work. Think I'm staying home with 10-month-old Lorelai Thursday and Friday, if she's still sick with the V and D (vomiting and diarrhea). Steven missed most of work last week to take care of her (when it was RSV, bronchiolitis and ear infections in both ears.) It's my turn to miss most of this week. What are ya gonna do? We'll survive.
When we took Lorelai to the doctor Saturday, the second time in three days, our doc said she has parents who tell her they will lose their jobs if they miss any more work to take care of their sick kids.
So far, that hasn't happened to us, but I know my husband and I sometimes fear that worst case scenario - especially when we don't know how long we are going to need to take off work (when the sickness goes on and on and on). Another problem is we may run out of sick/vacation time, which means days off would be unpaid.
The Wall Street Journal, in its great blog The Juggle addressed a related issue in Sending Sick Kids to School. For us, there's no question, our little princess has been barfing and pooping relentlessly since Friday. Before that she had the RSV-ear infection-breathing difficulty going on full force. There was no way we would send her to school or be allowed to do that. Still, I know we have had days when her health was borderline, and we wondered if she was too sick for daycare? She may have passed daycare standards, but she didn't seem quite well enough to go.
For now, we're clear: she's really sick, and we need to stay home. We've got to have faith that she'll get better and our work issues will all be resolved.
Daily summary: A little hope for us in the horizon - While Lorelai was lethargic most of the day and super clingly, she only had one throw-up episode, and I'd call it a mini throw up. She had diarrhea, but not the kind where it explodes up her back and she needs a bath. Dare I jinx it, but it appeared that her last diarrhea tonight (that I was privy to) seemed to be taking on shape. Maybe she's nearing the end of that. This is what we talk about and think about - Diarrhea. The state of Lorelai's poop is what gives us clues about whether she is getting well, feeling better and ready to return to daycare, so we can return to work.
Lorelai's job today was working through a bad virus. After three vomit-episodes, two diarrhea blowouts and lots of crying, she went to bed knowing she put in a full day's work.
Our 3-year-old on work
Dash is starting to imitate some of the polite things Steven and I say at the dinner table or when we get home. Today, he came home from school and asked me, "Mommy, how was work?" I started to tell him how I had a great meeting and then..." Oops, he was off to something else. But it was great of him to ask and listen for a second.
Later, after dinner he was playing in a couch cushion fort he built a few days ago (it's still there), and he started walking with a purpose and said, "I gotta go to work. Goodbye." He was smiling when he said it, so I'm hoping he has a happy association with us going to work.
He started climbing up a pile of cushions and said, "These are my stairs to work." So I asked what he did at work, and he launched into a way cool story about how he played music, and he showed me how he played the drums. He's so fun.
How many parents out there have been in the daycare-sickness cycle where they're patching together work-time while taking care of a sick child?
Lorelai threw up and had diarrhea all weekend. We took her to the doctor Saturday. Just have to ride it out, we're told and keep a close eye on her. I stayed home this morning to take care of her. She is miserable today - no fever, ate some, but also had the vomiting and diarrhea. She had two baths before 8:30 this morning. She's sleeping now. She threw up on Steven several times this weekend. Think he took 5 showers yesterday or was that Saturday - All a blur.
On the way to the doctor Saturday, Dash shows us some "itchy spots" on his arms. Could be a very mild case of Chickenpox, the doc said. He has been vaccinated, and no new ones cropped up, so think it was either an ultra mild case or just scratches from playing.
When our babysitter gets here at 12:15, I'm headed in to work for a meeting. The house is a wreck, and haven't been able to totally keep up with the wash, with its continuous garmets with v and d on them.
Think it's time to accept that I'm going to have to take more time off to deal with sickness from daycare germs. And think I just need to know that it will all work out - Lorelai will stay home like she needs to, I'll get better and all my work will get done.
Today, I'm going back to work. Steve's staying home. I'm still not totally feeling better myself, but a little better and not contagious. I just feel I need to get back to the office. Still not sure when it's time to do this, but I've been out several days.
Lorelai is still recoverying from everything she has (ear infections, RSV, bronchiolitis), and here's where the acceptance about taking more time off in the immediate future comes in: We think we may need to keep her home next week because we got a call yesterday from daycare saying Chickenpox is making the rounds in Lorelai's class.
Two confirmed cases. One child with symptoms. Don't want Lorelai, who will still be recoverying from her current sicknesses, to come down with Chickenpox and get even sicker.
I've heard it said acceptance is the answer to all our problems. Gotta accept that we're in another long daycare sickness cyle and it will all work out.
Our health comes first, and thank God for sick time and an understanding boss.
How do working parents balance work, being sick and taking care of a sick child at the same time?
I was home sick Monday, thought I was well enough to go back in Tuesday (had a presentation to give), thenquickly started feeling ill. I went home and am home today. I have no business being at work. Meanwhile,Lorelai, who was a little sniffly Monday came down with a fever at daycare. The next day the doctor says she has the RSVirus (that's going around her classroom) and it has turned into brochiolitis, which means she's wheezing and needs breathing treatments every four hours. She also has ear infections in both ears. Poor thing. (Hoping she'll get through her daycare-germ initiation soon.) Because I'm sick, Steven took an extra night shift last night taking care of her so I could rest. He didn't get any sleep - Lor was inconsolable with ear pain in the middle of the night, and after he got her settled, Dash piled into bed with him. He proceeded to fall asleep, only to awaken the two of them by peeing in the bed. (I'm talking about Dashiell doin the peeing.) Good times. So I wake up (having had 8 solid hours of good sleep - Thank you Steve) but still sick. But I tell Steven, who looks like a dazed crack addict from two sleepless nights, to go to bed and that I'll take Dash to school. Lorelai soon wakes up, and ten years later I get out the door - take them for breakfast tacos, then drop Dash at school, then take Lorelai home and wait for Steven to wake up. (I am headed back to bed after this post.)
I e-mailed my boss last night to let her know I would not be in to work today and also gave a run-down of where my work stood and that I'll get my assignments to her Thursday as promised (somehow - maybe I'll need to e-mail them in).
Also let her know how sick Lorelai is and how I may have to stay home with her this week, but will let her know. Me and Steven need to negotiate who is missing work next. My boss was very understanding. Thank God. Anyhow, that's what we're doing today to balance sickness and work. I wish magic elves would come over and take care of Lorelai and Dash, and Steven and I could sleep for 8-hour shifts and do nothing but rest all day, but no working parent has that luxury.
Okay, so how many other parents stay up long after they put the kids to bed so they can get work done?
I'm Crazy Lady #1 over here - up at 3:30 a.m., working. ('Don't do that too often) When they're asleep, it's the only time I have to focus and catch up with work. I'm starting to feel tired now, though. Better go to bed. I'm still sick with the respiratory virus. I may have gone to bed earlier, but I was having trouble breathing, then Lor was restless and I changed her around 11 - 11:30. That gave me a second wind.
Through the baby monitor, I hear her moving around. Please don't wake up. I swear she can hear my keyboard typing, no matter how quiet I am.
Funny 3-year-old musings
Dash told Steven and I this epic poop story tonight (while he was trying to poop) that had Steven having to leave the room and do the silent laugh thing, throwing himself on the bed, hitting it with his hand, like, "stop already, Dash, you're killin' me, babe.) And I was laughing til I was crying.
It's not that we're into those kinds of stories, but his delivery was soooo funny. First, he told the story fast and it went on and on and on. He was so excited about it too, and it was so ridiculous. I won't go into the details because it's just gross. But he was hysterical - gesturing with his hands, smiling and gaining speed as he continued his tale. Hilarious. We think he's going to be a comedian OR work for the sanitation department. Whichever one, we'll be proud parents.
Or maybe Batman - Check out his batman costume in this short video below - We found the costume at Target, and Dashiell insisted on putting it on right after we left the store, before the ride home, so he could show his dad. In the car he asked "What does Batman say?" I drew a blank: "Uh, uh... He says 'To the Batcave!' " That's all I could think of.
So we get home, he unstraps himself from his car seat, jumps out and says, "To the Batcave!" then runs to the sidewalk and down the street! It was the cutest, funniest thing ever. He was totally Batman - when he was 3.
Lorelai and the Poop-a-loop
Lor has a croupy cough from the RSV and diarrhea that oozed out of her clothes twice today. (One time she looked down slowly at it and made a face like "What is THAT?") I cleaned both poop-fests up. Yucka do. No matter what's happening, she still manages to look lovey and regal (hence our name for her "Your Majesty"). I have got to get video of her dad doing his rap/Christopher Lloyd song and dance shows for her, but he would just stop if he saw the camera. She loves it, which just encourages him to do more. If his students could see him, they would die! Mr. Budd is funny in the classroom, but in a witty kind of way. They'd never know this teacher who wears starched shirt, suspenders, pressed pants and a tie could be so silly.
Does anyone out there have examples of unusual hours you've worked to catch up after sickness or family issues?
I left work at 1 p.m. Friday sick with a sharp sore throat and aches [the RSV (respiratory virus)?], that's going around daycare. On my way home, I picked up Lorelai because I called to check on her and was told that she had three poops (two more than normal) and two were loose. When I got there, she was being changed for her third loosey goosey poop-a-rooni. (Sounds like that Yes-a-rooni Pos-i-tooney song.)
Steven became sick yesterday. He came home from work looking awful Friday and went straight to bed. Woke him up once but haven't talked to him since. (He could be dead back there for all I know. Hope not.)
Lor and Dash have runny noses (RSV?), so I'm wondering if we have the same thing. (With Lorelai having the extra somethin' somethin' of diarrhea - maybe from teething? Her four, top front teeth are in now. The bottom front two were already there.)
It's my night to get up if they wake up, and I tried to get to sleep but the nasal drainage I'm having when I lay down is gross and is preventing me from sleeping.
So, I've been eating popsicles to numb the throat pain and doing some work - finishing a few powerpoint slides, about to start on a few more for another presentation. Gotta grab time for work at untraditional hours.
Baby's crying out - gotta go... Nope. I was wrong. She's quiet again. Still gotta go, though, to try to sleep or do more work. Maybe watch a little Ugly Betty.
Lorelai had four diarrhea poops yesterday. I asked the daycare teachers in the nursery if they thought she should stay home. They think she'll be okay. You're sent home if you have two diarrhea poops within an hour, and hers were spread out.
Other than that and some really bad diaper rash she seems fine. The question again is should we keep her home?
Lorelai made an appearance in the office yesterday. I forgot about an early doctor's appointment I had to take her too. It was faster to take her into the office with me for 30 minutes, then to go back to daycare to pick her up for the appointment.
So I carried her in my arms to my office then sat at my desk with her in my lap and checked my work e-mail, made some phone calls and checked in on some projects.
Very professional, huh? She's cute, and that forgives a lot. (In my mind.) My boss was very nice. Thank God for that.
So I'm curious: How often do other working moms or dads take their kids to work and how does that work out?
I'm a wife and mommy of two who left the world of online writing and editing to find better health and happiness at home with our adorable, non-stop children, 2 and 4.
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